It's all About Her First
When you find a woman that you are interested in on the web, it is often difficult to decide exactly what to write in the first letter to be sure that she will be interested in you. What do you say? What will she want to hear (read) from you? Naturally you want to make an impression that will make you stand out from the other guys; and in a good way so that she will write you back. How do you do that?
Read her profile carefully. Note all of her interests and what she says about herself. Are there any commonalities between your interests and hers? What about other things she mentions? What you have in common is always good to write about! What about the things you don't have in common?
If she writes that she enjoys ice skating, but you have never really done it (due to whatever reason), ask her about it. What about it does she enjoy? How often does she do it? If you are at all interested in learning how to do it, ask her how she would feel about teaching you. This will show that you have a serious interest in her and what she enjoys.
Give Teasers About Yourself
Tell her a little about yourself. Do not just repeat your profile, either. Elaborate a little bit on some of the points in the profile. For example, if you mentioned that you like hiking, tell a little bit about what kind of hiking you enjoy, where you go, or what it is that you enjoy about it. You can tell her a little about your work, your hobbies, and the kinds of things that you like to do when you have a little bit of free time. Tell her something that you did lately that might be interesting, too.
Things to Avoid
Never lie or exaggerate. Always be honest and give your best. Make sure that your spelling is correct and that the grammar you use is correct and easy to follow. This gives a good impression of you and shows that you are not a lazy person, and that you are also reasonably intelligent. If you are writing someone overseas, remember that she is reading something that is not in her native tongue, so you will have to be succinct and perfect in your writing. Take the effort to do it right! Also, if English isn't her first language, avoid contractions, such as isn't, won't, don't, and so forth.
Don't write anything sexual. Really! Unless you are on a site that is dedicated to quick sex, this will be a complete turnoff for any woman. Don't even hint. Stick to simple things, and until she brings up anything sexual, don't talk about it. This is always something best left for when you meet in person.
Include a Photo
Oh, and if the contact is directly through email rather than the site's services, include at least one picture that shows a close up of your face. This way she sees who you are and can relate it to your profile. Besides, it's nice to have that extra picture! And it shows that you have confidence in who you are and what you look like. There is nothing more attractive than self confidence.
by John Maetche
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