Change Relationship Habits and Modify Behavior - The Power of Intention Maps

How come some men never stay single for more than three weeks? How come some men can't get anything more than a one night stand to save their life? And how come some men, who really aren't all that great looking, get multiple girlfriends in awesome open relationships? Girls who are beautiful, intelligent, ambitious, with high self-esteem, accepting an arrangement that most people would think impossible...

 

Is it luck? Is it fate?

 

I present to you one word: Intention.

 

Everyone behaves differently around different people. You will be a different person around your grandmother than you are around your boss, and compared to your accountant than you are around your father.

 

You'll act differently. Maybe your grandmother thinks you don't use vulgarities ever. Your best friend might have a little different perception of you.

 

People are malleable, including women. We behave differently in different situations. Now to answer the question of why some men get exactly what they want, and why others get the same exact thing that they absolutely don't want, I present to you the Intention Map.

 

An Intention Map is a tool to modify behavior. The short version is, you will get the other person feeling and acting around you the way you want them to. There are three primary phases of an Intention Map:

 

1. Screening

2. Qualifying

3. Sex and Afterglow

 

The Intention:

 

To get what you want, you must have a clear, defined idea of what you want. The first thing to do, before you begin intention mapping, is to make a list of traits you want in all women. Traits might include such things as being ambitious, creative, hard-working, caring or affectionate.

 

Next, figure out what specific roles you want in your life. Do you want an open relationship? A really casual "friends with benefits" situation? Exclusivity? Whatever you want is good as long as you know what you want.

 

Then make a list of traits that you'd want for that specific relationship. Some traits I find are good in certain relationships:

 

Exclusive Relationships:

- Loyalty

- Femininity

- Traditional

- Conservative

 

Open Relationships:

- Independent

- Understanding

- Open-minded

- Non-jealous

 

Friends with benefits:

- Spontaneous

- Exciting

- Independent

- Experimental

 

Note that this isn't your list necessarily. What you want from an exclusive relationship may vary. Many men don't want a highly independent woman
in an exclusive relationship. If you're going to only be with one person, you want them available on your schedule. Some men might like an exclusive relationship with an independent woman though, so you fill in your own list.

 

Now comes the behavior modification.

 

Take the list of qualities that you want in all women:

- Ambitious

- Creative

- Hard-working

- Caring

- Affectionate

 

Add in the list of qualities that you want in the specific relationship you want:

- Independent

- Understanding

- Open-minded

- Non-jealous

 

There are three phases of an intention map. What you are going to do is get the girl saying she is the particular quality that you want. You are going to reinforce to her that you like her because she is has this quality, and you are going to reinforce it again during and immediately after sex.

 

1. Screening

 

Screening is a technique that increases compliance, and shows that you have standards. Examples of screening questions include:

 

"I like ambitious people. Do you consider yourself to be ambitious?"

"All my friends are really into a lot of creative things. What creative things do you do?"

"Do you work hard for things you believe in?"

"You strike me as a really caring person. Am I right?"

"I can tell you're very loyal, but are you also affectionate?"

 

"Ugh, you see all these girls around who can't get anything done without a man helping them. Tell me, are you independent?"

 

"A lot of my friends don't have traditional values. Do you consider yourself to be an understanding person?"

 

"Are you open-minded to seeing and trying new things?"

 

"You don't get jealous easily, do you?"

 

Those questions are all weighted towards getting what you want. A select few women will be unable to meet your criteria. For instance, not all women are creative. It's up to you what you're willing to compromise on in your list. I'm absolutely unwilling to compromise on a woman
having high self-esteem, so I'll dismiss girls who have low self-esteem. I also like girls who love art, music, and theatre, but I'm willing to compromise on that if she has other interests I enjoy, like nature or exercise.

 

It's up to you what you're willing to compromise on. The fact is, if she likes you, she'll try to give you the right answers to your screening questions. Most people consider themselves to be ambitious, caring, open-minded, etc. She's going to say she is either way. The key is, by saying it; she'll set a precedence for herself, and want to act that way around you. So though she might not be a very open-minded person around her friends from church, she will be around you.

 

2. Qualifying

 

Now, you will simply tell her that she meets your standards, and that she has the specific type of trait you're looking for. This needs to be Situational Relevant as we say. So do it after she does something to display that trait, or immediately after a screening question.

 

"You're so ambitious. I like that."

"I like that you're so creative."

"Thank you for being so caring. It makes me feel really good."

"Mmmm, you're so affectionate."

 

"I like that you're so independent."

"Wow, you're so understanding of things outside of what you were raised with. That's amazing." "It's really cool to hang out with such an open-minded girl."

"It's nice to spend time with you. You're so secure in yourself and never get jealous. I love it."

 

Ever hear the expression, "Treat a man as you would have him become." There was a typo in it. It should have read, "Treat a woman
as you would have her become." Tell her she's exactly what you want, and she'll want to live up to that. True story:

 

I was driving with my girlfriend at the time to spend the Fourth of July at a beach-house. Even after a year and a half together, just coincidentally, I'd never driven a car with her in the passenger seat. We'd been in other cars together, and lots of taxis, but living near each other in a city with good public transportation, I'd never driven her.

 

Well, I just coincidentally happened to be going the speed limit. Really, a coincidence to the extreme. And yet she said to me, "Sebastian... you can tell so much about a person by the way they drive. My sister's boyfriend swerves all over the road, honks, gets angry, cuts people off. Goes too fast, too slow - and you can tell he doesn't have his life together. You're going just the speed limit, nothing's bothering you... it says a lot about who you are."

 

Here's the thing - I *knew* what she was doing, and I *still* drove perfectly for the rest of the weekend. People don't want to go against praise that they get. So tell people that they are exactly what you want them to be.

 

Note: this also works great when you're getting service from a company. Whenever something's going wrong at an airport, I always say, "Thank you so much. Your airline is always really; really good to me, so I feel so comfortable when I'm flying with you folks." It results in a higher quality of service as they try to live up to that.

 

3. Sex and Afterglow

 

During sex is a special time. We get into a state of raw emotion, and let loose our logical constraints. During sex, qualification goes into the subconscious to the extreme. So you can say things like:

 

"I love making love to such an ambitious girl baby."

"Mmmm, baby, how creative you are turns me on so much."

"Oh yeah, I love being with you here - you're so caring, take care of me, make me feel so good." "You're so affectionate."

 

There is also the afterglow, immediately after sex.

 

"Wow, it's great being with such an independent girl."

"It feels good lying next to a girl so open-minded."

"Damn baby, you're so open-minded. It shows when we're in bed too."

"I love that you're so secure in yourself. We're here together and you're not worrying, you're calm and in the moment."

 

The other thing you do during the Afterglow stage is you set up the time frame of the relationship. You do this after you've been having sex for a little while, perhaps three weeks. So, for an open-relationship where you're seeing each other once a week or so, you'll say.

 

"You're so great, baby. We spend amazing time together, and you're independent and have a really great life besides just me. The time we spend together is amazing, and yet you understand that I've got a really busy life. It feels great to be with you."

 

With this system, you can develop your intention throughout the interaction: Before you ever have sex, she'll be saying she's what you want, and you'll be telling her she's what you want and that's why you like that. During sex, you say that you feel good making love to her because she's want you want, and after sex you'll say it feels good lying next to her because she's what you want.

 

Enforced and reinforced so many times, this shapes and modifies her behavior. She might still be close-minded around her friends, but she'll be open-minded around you and yours, and that's what counts.

 

by Sebastian Drake

For Men Who Are Sick of Hearing "Let's Just Be Friends"

Most men, when trying to attract women, get caught in the dreaded friendship zone.

 

You met this cute girl at work or a party. She asks you if you want to hang out sometime. Great! You didn't even have to work up the courage to ask. You go out and hit it off well. Then she starts in about what a jerk her off again on again boyfriend is. He is constantly treating her bad and is down right rude.

 

You sit back and smile. You're not rude. She likes immediately. You know she'll soon realize you're the great guy she needs, and she'll want to date you instead. However, when the conversation ends she leans forward and tells you...

 

"Thanks for being such a great friend."

 

You have now entered the friendship zone. Once in the friendship zone, you are doomed. There's rarely ever an escape.

 

Doesn't that enrage you? It did me. It drove me nuts because it didn't make any sense at all. I used to say, "If women weren't so dumb..."

 

But it's not her fault. It's your fault, stud. It's not her fault that as a woman
she is hardwired with certain emotional triggers which cause attraction... and "wimpy nice guy" isn't one. No. Instead of blaming her you need to ask yourself:

 

"What can I do to make women feel a strong, undeniable attraction towards me?"

 

This little shift in attitude can make all the difference between loneliness and being a stud. Remember when I said being a "wimpy nice guy" isn't attractive to a woman
? I want you to think about it. If you were a woman... and you are physically weaker than a man... and in fact are taking a far greater risk when dating and doing things sexually...

 

What would you want? Would you want a wimp or someone who could protect you? A nice guy or a guy who would keep your out of harms way? Women don't make a lot of logical sense because they often make decisions based on emotion.

 

For example, if you go to a nightclub, you will find women dress sexy to attract men's attention. When you try to approach them though, they put up resistance. Likewise, women want someone who can treat them with respect, give them compliments and listen to them... but they also want a man who is powerful, confident and able to demonstrate control.

 

And if it comes down to the two... and she has to pick one...

 

She will pick power. That's why she keeps around a lot of male "nice guys" for friends, and dates the jerks. So she can have it both ways.

 

So where does that leave you? It's simple. You have to figure out how to demonstrate control, power and all that... while staying congruent to your personality. I'm not saying you can't treat a woman
with respect. But you must do it on your terms. Not hers.

 

And you must show confidence. That means you aren't afraid to joke, tease and even talk down to a "perfect ten" beautiful woman
. Or lead the relationship.

 

If you really want to change your dating results, stop asking why women don't like nice guys and start asking what you can do to communicate with women that you're confident, powerful and in control. And most important...

 

Someone they can feel safe around intimately.

 

by Kurt Dight

How To Skyrocket a Woman's Attraction After You Have Offended Her

The ice stare. That's what you get when you go out with a woman
who has no sense of humor. Or maybe she's in a bad mood. Maybe it has something to do with her hormones. It doesn't matter. The damage is done.

 

Or... you say something you think is going to be funny... but comes out lame. Oops. The damage is done.

 

Actually the damage is rather harmless. That is the most important lesson you can learn. Once you understand this, it's very easy to recover for embarrassing situations. This article will show you how to diffuse such situations.

 

The first technique I use is this: I tell her "It was a joke". But I say it with the most serious look on my face. I mean ice cold serious. Try it in the mirror. It's actually pretty funny, because what you are saying and what you look like are total contradictions. This takes the pressure out of the situation and allows you to continue on as if nothing happen.

 

The second trick you can use is showing her that you aren't losing your cool. Just flash her a sly smile that communicates to her you think she's cute when she's mad. If you do this right, and she isn't some psycho, she will lighten up instantly.

 

If you aren't good at facial expressions, try this one. Just laugh. When she gets offended, just start laughing. Tell her she's adorable and needs to loosen up a bit. If you keep it cool, she'll play cool, too.

 

The point of all these techniques is simple: it shows you weren't serious, but you still aren't losing you confidence or cool. But only make sure to use them when she is truly offended by something you said and not just "mock offended" and testing you.

 

Remember: women like to act like they're offended when you tease them. It's their way of putting up a little resistance so as not to seem easy to control. But secretly, most women enjoy being teased as long as you can make them laugh while doing it. They know you are flirting with them, and if you can keep them smiling and laughing they will start feeling attracted to you.

 

But if you're a wuss, and buckle at the first sign of protest, you have committed an attraction buzz kill.

 

In conclusion, if you're teasing a woman
, or joking around with her, you'll likely get one of two responses a "I can't believe you said that but I'm smiling" response, or a response where she's truly offended. If it's the first one, keep it up buddy. You're doing just fine. If it's the second one, use the dead pan joking technique, the "you're cute when your mad" smile or simply laugh and confidently tell her she's adorable and just needs to loosen up.

 

If she's cool, she'll understand. If she's not, you probably wouldn't want to be around someone like that anyway.

 

by Kurt Dight

Latin Dating - The Truth about What Latinos and Latinas Look For In A Date

Men are from Mars and Women from Venus; this phrase seems to be written for Latin people, so next I'll explain the main points for each gender.

 

Cute Latinas are looking for:

 

Honesty

Is one of the first traits that any single Latin woman
mentions when describing someone with whom they wish to share friendship, a deeper relationship, and long lasting love. Pretending into somebody that you are not, will not work, especially in the long run.

 

Someone that shares their interests

Most Latino women often look for someone that has things in common with them. You can win extra points if you talk about Latin traditions or ask questions about them.

 

Gifts

Latino girls never forget someone that sends them a gift. You can make a big difference if you bring a small present to every date. Should it be expensive? Depends on your budget and well you know what I mean!

 

Someone that listen and shows interest

Latinas love to feel that they are special, that you care for them and that you remember the things that are important to them. Listen to what she has to say, never interrupt a Latino woman
! Let her finish, before you state your opinion.

 

Someone that captures their attention

They like to meet guys that look good, neat, smell nice and dress well. Therefore, you can charm her and she can be proud of you.

 

Compliments

You can win a lot of points if you make her feel good by talking about her nice dress, haircut, perfume, lips Never forget that feeling sexy is a MUST for Latina.

 

Sense of Humor

Making a Latino woman
laugh is like winning half your battle. This means that she is having a nice time and creates a positive atmosphere. She will remember the occasion because everyone remembers when they have hand fun

 

Cute Latinos are looking for:

 

Good looking girls

Let me be honest with you, the first criteria that Latinos really care about are what girls look like.

 

Friendly girls

If you're thinking that acting too formal or distracted will conquer a Latino, you're wrong! Latinos like to feel "near" to someone.

 

Smiles

Your smile is an indication that you are happy to be with him and that you have a sense of humor, never forget to smile.

 

Compliments

Don't be afraid to give compliments to a Latino man that will put him at ease and also will show him that you're taking notice of him.

 

Girls that don't complain

This doesn't mean that you shouldn't tell him that something is wrong or something makes you uncomfortable. The way you phrase it and the tone you use is also important. Don't forget that "machismo" (an exaggerated sense or display of masculinity) is in every Latino.

 

by Erika Falccon

Storytelling - Constructing Awesome Stories and Routines for Dating and Seduction

When I was younger and perhaps a tad more arrogant, I had a saying:

 

"Modesty is for those of modest capabilities." I knew I was elite, and I didn't fail to let anyone know.

 

The only problem is that I came across as a jerk. Outright bragging is no good. But does that mean we should swing the other way on the spectrum to quiet and passive modesty?

 

People can have a hard time finding things to talk about with girls. They mumble about boring stuff like the weather and television. And all the while they have something unique and interesting that they should be sharing with the world. Everyone has something. But they don't want to come across as bragging. Stories offer an opportunity to do that.

 

Here are some tips to get you going:

 

*Build a relationship when you tell a story: Be smooth. Relax, and slowly offer up more details. Until you have a reputation (like Chris Rock or George Carlin) it's the frame and relationship you have that makes a story funny.

 

One of my friends owns his own business, and he's constantly having crazy adventures. I love hearing his stories because they're so well told. Since he and I already have a great relationship, he'll just lay out the details. But when someone he doesn't know well is with us, he'll build slowly and it's magical to behold.

 

*Catch their attention early: A "deadpan" or other edgy part of a story is a great way to do this, especially if there are some boring details in the buildup. Think of the movie Fight Club: It starts with Edward Norton with a gun in his mouth, and then goes into Norton traveling around with insomnia. If it just started with the insomnia, it would have been too boring to engage a lot of people.

 

I'll be sitting with my entrepreneur friend, and he'll deadpan, "My warehouse burnt down" (he's a light-hearted guy, and means for it to be funny; that's probably part of how he survives his volatile business). After deadpanning that, the audience is really engaged and he can go back and do some boring details about the warehouse before getting to the punch line.

 

*Don't be in a hurry to finish your story: Start on it, and if it branches somewhere else, great! The best storytellers are interesting to listen to every time they tell the same story, because there's always different elements and tangents. The punch line isn't the goal: The whole experience is what makes an awesome story.

 

My buddy is a master storyteller, and the objective is never the punchline. Oftentimes, he'll get off on a tangent about some Christmas party and it's still a great story. This also builds anticipation and intrigue, since people will come back and ask him later, "Hey, so what happened with that warehouse?"

 

*Use vivid, descriptive language (aka, "Show, don't tell"): If you're talking about your ex-girlfriend, replace "She was really beautiful" with "She was 6'2, with curves to die for..." while drawing an hourglass in the air with your hands."...and brunette hair falling halfway down her back. Sparkling eyes that were totally alive." That paints a picture in the audience's mind and connects them to your ex-girlfriend more.

 

*Verbalize lower value immediately following any bragging-like comments: Here's the secret on how to convey good things about you. Whenever you say something that sounds like you might be bragging, immediately disclaim that you're not really all that. A very effective way is to just throw in, "I guess that sounds like I was really rolling or something, but I actually just got really lucky" at the end of any bragging like stuff.

 

*Getting the laugh: Look at them expectantly. Here's the secret to wrapping up your story. After you say your punchline, smile and stare at the person expectantly, like you expect them to laugh. Don't try to explain your story, just stare at them like you expect them to laugh because it's funny. If you can master this look, people will laugh after a second or two, regardless of if they got the joke or not.

 

Fun stuff huh? Try it out, and watch your storytelling grow.

 

by Sebastian Drake

Internet Dating - Meeting Face-To-Face For the First Time

After weeks of emailing, instant messaging, and telephoning each other, it's time to finally meet your Internet date. Bravo! But take some time to think about what happens now, in order to maximize your odds of success on the next step.

 

Popular safety "rules" advice approaching your first meeting with a heightened state of suspicion. It's as though you have to assume and plan for the worst. Not a good way to start.

 

All the same, a few precautionary measures are okay. These include letting someone know where you are and about how long you will be out and keeping an eye on your drink.

 

An exit plan is also in order, in case of extreme disappointment or things going wrong. Yes, anything can still happen, and even the best laid plans can go wrong.

 

While your personal safety can never be left to chance, your date is supposed to be fun. Meet at a place that ensures privacy, but is also quiet and comfortable. And yes, you can meet your date for a romantic dinner, with subdued light, candles and all. There are no hard rules. It all depends on your level of comfort, your guts, personality, and how long the two of you have been communicating.

 

It would help to plan on how to ID each other. You may not recognize your date from a picture alone. And you don't want to be tapping on strangers' shoulders only to find they are not there for a date; or with you anyway. A good identifier is to tell each other what you'll be wearing.

 

And oh, please don't haul your friends along (women especially are known to do this).

 

Dress for success. Looking good and well-groomed shows you took time to prepare. It also shows respect and interest. All the same, do dress appropriately as far as time and place are concerned. Look good without appearing to be trying too hard. Men, try not to clash scents, as far as aftershave and cologne are concerned.

 

For you ladies; unless the date originates from an adult dating site, don't be too revealing. You don't want to send out the wrong signals, or scare away a guy looking for Ms Right.

 

This is for you men out there; don't bring flowers. Some women say they find this embarrassing. Your date could be one of them.

 

Meeting during the day is not a bad idea for first dates. But contrary to the "rules" being peddled out there, meeting for coffee may not be the best idea. Why? Well, nothing's worse than meeting for coffee and then staring each other across the table, neither one knowing what to say.

 

A better way is to meet at a place where you can do an activity that you both enjoy (with your cloths on!). Examples are Rollerblading, bowling and hiking. But I don't recommend ladies to hike in the woods with your new date just yet.

 

Be prepared for a picture surprise. Most people don't really look like their pictures. Unless the person was obviously deceptive, don't judge him/her too harshly on this one aspect.

 

You also don't want to over-think what you plan to say, but you should have some idea. Spontaneity is great, but it leaves things to chance. Having a few questions in mind, or one or two interesting tales to tell, can help you get past that initial discomfort zone. But please, don't date-interrogate.

 

Also, do not to talk about your problems. Save those for conversations with your friends or your therapist.

 

Show interest. Listen to the other person. Smile. Comment or ask about past correspondence, your common and not so common interests, life's outlook etc. End the first meeting on a positive note.

 

Be polite, even if the date was a flop. If you're sure you like the guy or gal, ask for another meeting or tell him/her to expect your call. If not sure, sleep over it and then look at it again with a fresh mind.

 

by David Kamau

Should You Use Negs and Negging? Intro to Mutual Value Escalation Theory

With the growing popularity of negs and the so-called "negging", popularized by Mystery of Mystery Method, many men think that the using a small insult to bring a woman
down is an effective strategy. There are other ways however. See this:

 

A huge part of the negging dogma is that men strive to have a higher value than a woman
they're meeting. A man thinks, "I've got a 7 out of 10 social status, but she's an 8.5! I've got to neg her down to my level!"

 

So what are your options?

 

1. Long term: Become legitimately higher value. This should be one of your goals. Always improve your life. I'll work on some strategies for doing this with you too, but let's get some short term solutions as well.

 

2. Lowering her value to increase yours: A well-timed neg or dismissal might lower her value or status, so she sees herself as a 6.5 and is desperate for the attention of your study 7.2 self.

 

These are the most commonly offered solutions to the issue. Either improve in the long term or neg her down in the short term. But lots of men, maybe yourself included, want short term results and don't like the underlying cracks in a relationship that's built on temporarily decreasing her perceived value.

 

Here's a third option. Take a strong leadership role and increase both of your value simultaneously.

 

In our first illustration, the man rated himself as a "male 7" and the girl as an "8.5". The guy could use negs, social proof, takeaways, and such to decrease her value in that particular situation to "7.5" and possibly even increase his value to an "8". Then, some logistics, some more games, some of this and that and maybe he can make something happen. But now... he's with a girl who has been brought down, and is not living up to her full capacity. In the long term, this means you've got a girl who is more likely to be insecure around you, and do little subtle passive aggressive things in your relationship...

 

What happens when she snaps out of the need for validation trance? I it's all just been a front, she's going to start seeing herself as better than you soon enough, and then it's time for all heck to break loose. This is a large cause of why some night game that's successful at "putting numbers on the scoreboard" is terrible at making loyal, solid, dependable girls. And many of these same guys rant about how worthless women are. When they're damaging the goods before they take them!

 

Here's something better. With strong leadership, you have the power to make any girl better than what she is, simply by virtue of being with her, being connected to her, being in her presence or even able to communicate some her. She can feel sexier, more intelligent, solve problems more easily, be more dedicated, be more rational and so on.

 

Strong leadership brings these qualities out in people.

 

So, instead of you cutting that cute little 8.5 down to a 7.5, you make her into a 9.5! Now some people are saying, "Hold the phone, Sebastian! You can't be serious... I'm a 7, I can't handle the 8.5, let alone a 9.5!"

 

Here's the deal:

 

You've elevated a slightly above average girl, an "8.5" into a really quality girl. She holds her head up higher, smiles brighter, has excellent body language and a sparkle in her eye. She feels more confident and beautiful, and she is more confident and beautiful.

 

Who is that dependant on? You. She feels stronger, smarter, more confident, more socially savvy, more beautiful, and more powerful around you. By virtue of elevating her up, you've shown her that you possess a rare, amazing amount of you. And what does that do for your social status? It makes you a true 10, my friend. People who can elevate others to the highest standards are seen as some of the highest value people in society.

 

There's an art to this, of course. When you elevate her, you're doing it because you approve of everything she's done to make herself an awesome woman
, and you see her as meeting your standards. You're not trying to raise her up in order to get things from her; you're doing it because you're a leader who elevates everyone around you up. Imagine that a Brad Pitt-esque guy walks up to a girl, looks deeply into her eyes, and tells her that she carries herself so gracefully that he had to come speak with her. She'll be positively glowing, and his value has only gotten higher.

 

And if you're picking up everyone around you, you're getting gaining more social status too. Because you're regarded more highly, more people want to be around you. It's cyclical.

 

Here are a few pointers to make your leadership go more smoothly:

 

* Deliver your words, conversation, and especially any compliments from a position of power and authority.

 

This means you're not tentative: You do and say what you think, and don't waffle based on the results.

 

When you state something that you think, your position isn't going to change based on what they think or say. So you give a girl a compliment on her retro-yellow skirt. She says she hates it but has nothing else to wear. You smile and say, "Well, I still like it" and keep going. You don't take back what you've said, because it's true. Likewise, if she starts glowing, you don't go on and on about it. You've said what you have to say, now keep rolling.

 

* Judging is okay - if you're doing it as a positive leader.

 

Everyone judges all the time, whether they admit it or not. Even a person who prides themselves on being non-judgmental still makes spot assessments of everything they see. So... take it to the forefront. Be conscious of the fact that you're always judging, and don't be afraid to say what you think. Just remember: Your goal is to elevate people around you, so you let people know what you like, and sometimes don't like, with a smile and the expectation that they'll improve.

 

How to Deal With Disrespect?

 

You're out in the club, and you see a really beautiful woman
wearing a ruby-colored, shimmering red dress. Long, soft blond hair and a pearl necklace framing her perfect neck. You go to talk to her, and she's rude! Don't put so much blame on her, Cosmo and The Rules are such poor resources for women on how to interact socially that some don't know better. But you do need to know how to deal with it...

 

You're going to take no disrespect. When someone puts you down, often that person is trying to their value or status by slamming yours.

 

Here's what you do: Don't flinch or be taken aback. Now, mentally demote the other person in value and treat them accordingly. If you can, imagine that "smoking hot 9" that just said some rude comment is transformed into a 4, and it's a rabidly ugly drunk woman
slurring her words. React accordingly.

 

If a woman
is willing, you can go to new heights together. Thrive in a partnership, and if she measures up, a relationship. Connect and have great conversations, do fun things and both learn more about yourselves together. See sunsets and sunrises and show her things she's never seen before, and learn all sorts of wonderful things from her.

 

If she's rude, tell her calmly that you thought so, and move on. No emotion caught up in it. Do you get upset if someone begging for change calls you a jerk if you're in a hurry? No? Don't here either.

 

Always assume you are extremely high value as a man, and build off this by elevating people through confident leadership. Pick everyone you meet up, and become a better person by working with them.

 

This style of leadership is social excellence has been around for years. The most successful men employing it don't even seem to be trying... To your success my friend!

 

by Sebastian Drake

Dating Despite Stereotypes - Conquer Your Image, Get the Women You Want

We're all a mix of many different things. Girls and people in general, will see different parts of who we are.

 

So when I get asked the question "Can I get success even though I'm ___________?" I shake my head. I get all of the following: Too "short", "tall", "fat", "skinny", "old" or "young"; also insert every race. I've seen guys of all races get nervous and wonder if they can succeed.

 

This is a common problem. You probably don't like every single thing about yourself. Who does? Hopefully you're trying to work past the things you don't like and become the best person you can be. But what if you're short? What can be done about that?

 

Your height isn't going to change, but I don't you care about that. No, what you care about is getting the results you want out of your social and romantic life, bedding beautiful women and getting plenty of respect out of everyone you meet. Regardless of your height, you can bed plenty of beautiful women, and have very hot girlfriends.

 

Just remember this:

 

The image you put forward has to be stronger than any negative stereotypes about you.

 

Read that again.

 

The image you put forward has to be stronger than any negative stereotypes about you.

 

If you're short, you don't want people to think "Wow, he's a short guy" when they meet you. You don't want to give off a 'short vibe'. Instead, you want to have some sort of powerful and positive image.

 

When a 20-year old woman
sees Mel Gibson, does she think, "He's old"? No way! She thinks he's a movie-star, and seems fun and cool and successful. Look at Hugh Hefner, even. Hugh is a bazillion years old, but his image is one of a certified, legitimate, full-on playboy. And successful businessman and very cool and fun guy to socialize with.

 

What does this mean to you? The image you put forward has to be stronger than any negative stereotypes about you.

 

A common question I get is, "I'm _________ race, can I get _________ race of woman
?" I hear a lot of Asian guys wondering if they can get white women. The question is: Is your image "Asian"?

 

My image is not "white". If the first thing a woman
thought when she saw me was: "This guy is white", then I'd be in trouble. I'd be super-boring. Now the majority of people in America are Caucasian. If you're Caucasian in America, any image is stronger than the fact you're white, because being white is boring and normal. Whereas if you're another race you might need an immediately stronger image.

 

This works for and against guys whose races are stereotypical of being alpha and powerful, like Latino and black men. But what if you're Asian? Or Indian? The stereotypes of those two races in America are pretty much not positive when it comes to their relationships with women. What you need is an image to put forward that is stronger than any negative stereotypes about you.

 

I used to work out at a gym that had guys that looked like members of Triads. They were ripped, had dragon-tattoos and had shaved heads. They had hot girlfriends, luxury cars, nice clothes and a "Don't mess with me" look.

 

When any woman
looked at one of these guys, she didn't think, "He's Asian." She thought "He's powerful" or "He's a gangster" or "He's buff."

 

As an example, let's compare two Chinese guys I knew. One went to that gym. He was about 5'5, but he had muscles upon muscles. They called him "the bull". I called him respectfully called him "el toro". This guy had women all over him, black, white, Latin, and of course Asian as well.

 

On the other hand, I knew a Chinese computer-programmer. He had thick glasses, wore rumpled clothing and slouched over. He had no image, so women would lump him into the category of "asexual Asian guy". They'd buy into the stereotype that he's asexual, because the image he put forward was not stronger than any potential negative stereotypes around him.

 

Everybody has something that's unappealing to some group of women. You're either young or old or too skinny or too fat or too short or too tall or something. I had to make a brief pass through France recently. You can bet yours that I didn't want people to think "American" when they met me. I wanted women to think "Wow, what a stylish powerful guy." When women asked me where I was from, I'd tell them to guess. They would guess "Amsterdam", "Italy", and "Russia" which meant I was doing something right. I didn't put off the negative vibe associated with Americans in France.

 

I've been to parties where I was the only white person in the room. I've been to parties where I was the only person in the room that didn't speak fluent Mandarin, Spanish, or Creole. But I'd keep a warm smile and a good vibe of course everyone knew I was white, but I wasn't "the white guy". If you're wondering, "Am I too short?" then you are putting off a short vibe. Tom Cruise is pretty short but his image is larger that his stature.

 

The shortest student I've ever brought three new women into his life within two months of completing live training with me. He didn't identify with being a 'short guy'. He didn't have a 'short vibe'. No, he acted like a high-rollin' playboy type, and the women bought right into that.

 

Cultivate an image for yourself. If you have a weak image, then people will pick something arbitrary about you and assume the stereotypes. If you have a solid image, your age, race, height, and all those other things you have no control over fade away. And you get the girls you want.

 

by Sebastian Drake