And If You Think You Can't, You're Also Right

As you probably know, the first half of this well-meaning sentence is: "If you think you can, you're right". It's a great way of getting you to realize that your mental attitude is all-important if you are determined to succeed in life and with the opposite sex. After all, if you start out with the expectation that you are going to be successful, then your chances are greatly increased, right?

 

What about "if you think you can't"? For instance, if you're so sure that a gorgeous, intelligent, girl like the one you'd love to get romantic with would never, not-in-a-million-years-ever, go out on a date with you that there's no point in even asking her, then you're right no dating success, no relationship. It's like a self-fulfilling prophecy.

 

On the other hand, if you do ask her and think that your chances are pretty good; does that guarantee that she will go out with you? It would be nice to think so, but in reality, of course it doesn't guarantee it at all. Don't forget that she may have very valid reasons for not going out with you, reasons which have nothing to do with you personally. That's one reason it's so important not to take a "no, sorry" as rejection of you as a person.

 

Many people will tell you that dating is a numbers game. Those who sell for a living are encouraged to take the attitude that "if, on average, one call in fifty leads to a sale, then every 'no' gets them closer to 'yes'". On paper, it's true, and clearly, many salespersons can motivate themselves in that way. However, a man who can live with getting an average of fifty rejections before finding someone to go out on a date with him has a remarkable degree of self-confidence, but shouldn't he also be thinking that his flirting technique, appearance, standard of personal hygiene, etc might well need working on?

 

Meanwhile, if you've taken care of those factors and you still aren't enjoying the relationships and dating experiences which you know you are entitled to, then reading some of our carefully selected recommendations is going to put you on the right track. You'll find hundreds of creative ideas which you can adapt to your own personal situation.

 

by David A. Richardson