Dating within our current era is very difficult as well as trying at times. Even more so if you are dedicated to finding that special someone. There are those of us who wish to settle back down within our lives and this proves for serious studying of the opposite sex while dating them. This does not however constitute that every man a woman
dates while in this mode of "wanting to find someone special" means that she is looking for marriage material, but when both people in the beginning of the "dating game" proclaim they are both looking for that "someone special" there are particular do's and don'ts, I wanted to aim this at men, largely because I feel that many men make the mistakes in which I am getting ready to mention as well as drive off good women in their lives.
1. Do not ever proclaim to have or have had sexual romps with your co-workers in which you see and interact with on a daily basis. Even more so, do not ever mention to a potential mate how great the sex was with these particular co-workers, what this does is create insecurity with your potential mate who is contently listening to you brag about your sexual romps. When this is being stated to a potential mate, the potential mate is left to wonder why you as a supposed gentleman would even mention this factor, and secondly since the sex was so "good" with your co-worker if you would be susceptible to cheating with that particular person, these things do matter and if you are proclaiming this early in the "dating game", it's a turn off.
2. Some men are guilty of really turning the "heat" on upon first meeting a woman
. They rush her around their family as well as friends, this is ok as long as both are agreeable with this, it largely depends on both people involved. What I mean is how a man will want to spend lots of time with a woman, then abruptly come to a screeching halt, and limit dates to once a week, or not make plans with a woman for a weekend. What this creates is uncertainty, this leaves the woman wondering why all of a sudden this man no longer wants to spend as much time with her as he started out doing. This causes doubt and leaves women wondering, when women tend to wonder, they tend to overanalyze things and this is not a good thing, whereas if a man is constant in his interest for a woman, this aids in no confusion and allows the woman to understand that the man is still genuinely interested.
3. Do not expect a woman
to sit idly by and date you only when it's convenient for you. Last time I checked, there are two people involved when dating is occurring and this should be performed when it's convenient for both involved. If a woman works forty plus hours a week logically speaking, the weekend would be the best time to set up plans. If you witness a woman who is very busy professionally as well as personally making time to spend with you, one can rest assured she will expect the same from you. If you refuse to reciprocate these actions performed by your potential mate, you can rest assured that she will pick up on your inaction to see her and she will easily tire of making time for you, besides, we all know if a man is genuinely interested in a woman, he will make time for her, it's that simple. Make sure if you are genuinely interested in a woman, that you allow her to view you making time for her, even if it's early in the dating game, this will show her that you are genuinely interested in getting to know her, otherwise, it becomes a waste of time to a woman who is looking for someone special to be in her life.
4. If a woman
always keeps her word of calling you, a woman will expect you to do the same. This is a "huge" factor with women in general. Yes, as a matter of fact we do expect you to call if you say you are going to call, besides, we understand that if a man really wants to call us, he will, plain and simple, no matter what is occurring in his life.
5. I hate to bring up text messaging, but I'm beginning to feel text messaging is "evil"! A woman does not appreciate the fact if she has text messaged you once as well as called you twice and all she receives back is a measly text message stating that you will call her later. The time you took to type out a lengthy text message could have been spent placing a call to your potential mate informing her you are thinking of her, it's informal and makes women feel that they are not worth placing a call to.
6. If your potential mate has children of her own, it's not wise to state that you do not want children. The topic of children has to be approached carefully when it's touched upon early within the dating game. "Acceptable" statements in conjunction with this would be the following; "I do not have children of my own and do not wish to have children of my own however, I do not have a problem with being with someone who has children, for I do like children". An "Unacceptable" statement in conjunction with this topic is as follows; "I enjoy my life without children and therefore do not want children". What the example of the "acceptable" statement says is that where you do not want children of your own, you would be accepting of your potential mate's children. The example of the "unacceptable" statement is basically placing forth the idea to your potential mate who does happen to have children is that you do not like children and might very well have a problem with having children around, this enables your potential mate who is a mother to begin critically analyzing the situation and wondering if you are someone who would be accepting of their children, this can be a serious deal breaker, therefore, if you do not like children, make sure you don't date a woman
with children.
7. Do not refer to your potential mate as a "friend". Even more so, after having sexual relations with your potential mate. This does not mean that you should refer to them as your "girlfriend", but it's just plain flat out disrespectful for a man to refer to a woman
as a "friend", especially in knowing that this woman has given her body to this man, to do so, is brazen and inconsiderate, the most acceptable thing to do during a circumstance such as this is to refer to your potential mate as their name, and that can be the end of it. Women in general do not expect men to feel that they are a couple within the first phase of the dating game, but if sexual relations have occurred, any woman would feel degraded of being referred to as such. The only time I feel this is acceptable when referring to women as "friends" is if children are involved, for we all know that children are easily confused and children need particular types of transitions when someone other than their "natural" parents are together, but if this situation does not involve children, this is a quick "wake-up" call to any woman who has had sex with a man and then becomes referred to as a "friend", this is a serious deal breaker as well.
8. If you engage into dating a woman
, make sure you "date" her. Do not only invite her over to your house or apartment. This will enable a woman to feel used as well as question your intentions, especially if sexual relations have occurred at this point.
9. If the woman you are dating voices discontent about your actions or comments, make sure you listen. Most women, at least the confident ones, will tell you if they are uncomfortable with any actions you have performed or statements you have voiced. What the woman is doing when she performs this action, is allowing you to know how she feels as well as allowing you to know that she thinks enough of you to voice this discontent to you, to brush it off or turn things around where you are being inconsiderate of your potential mate's feelings or opinions is in all actuality showing your potential mate that what they are saying truly does not matter to you. Just because a woman
is voicing discontent about something does not automatically constitute a woman as insecure. If a woman was truly insecure, she would just accept what you do and say with the hopes of "landing" you, but when a woman takes the time to talk to you voicing these obvious issues, it shows they know what they want and should more than likely be taken seriously, for women do tire of having to deal with the same issues over and over. If a man is truly interested in a woman, he will discuss these problems and both can overcome the situation, if not, he will ignore her wants and needs as well as her feelings and he will soon find himself alone back out on the dating scene.
10. If a woman
does tire of your boyish tactics and finally ends the dating game with you, do not be a jerk and hurl insults. Informing a woman after she has kindly informed you the relationship is not going where she indeed wants it to go that due to her actions she has "issues" is ridiculous. Why do men always state this? I have news for men who like to state this. Just because a woman has tired of your childish behavior and has enough respect for herself to not sit at home and wait for you to call her, this does not constitute "issues"; in fact, it shows a confident woman who knows what she wants as well as someone who is confident enough to be alone. A man does have to analyze himself when a woman would rather be alone as compared to being with him, therefore, who really has the "issues"? When insults are hurled, this absolutely destroys any future of possibly reuniting with this person, for when people are informed things they do not want to hear, we tend to see the "real" person. Just because someone has stated that they do not want to see you, this does not mean that they do not like you anymore, and insults can hurt, especially if there were "emotions" involved, sometimes we women stop dating men in the hopes they will wise up, but of course we don't hold out for this for most men do not wise up and will continue on with their bad behavior with of course eventually finding some submissive woman who will deal with it.
by Nona Nixon
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