When your relationship or marriage is going downhill, you have to learn to take time to pause, ponder over your relationship circumstance, and look for solution instead of mistakes.
Whatever you do, focus on holding tight to your partner's hand, so that he or she will not be beaten by the destructive forces that are coming their way and hurting the relationship.
It is well for us to understand that genuine love is not a simple, definite feeling that can be easily comprehended and controlled.
It is a delicate compound of many of our most powerful tendencies and emotions. To love is not a simple or voluntary act; it is a life of spontaneous, complex and continuous activities.
True love between man and woman
may manifest itself suddenly, forcefully and almost simultaneously in the consciousness of each. There is no doubt that many couples mutually "fall in love at first sight." On the other hand, genuine love may be a matter of slow growth, requiring months to unfold and years to mature.
Some of the most delightful marriage unions known have resulted from a slowly developing love. Some persons are very susceptible to the charms of physical beauty or to the attractions of character, and immediately surrender to them when opportunity offers.
Others are slow to receive impressions, distrustful or appearances and cautious in all that pertains to so important a matter.
Many relationship cases of "love at first sight", with almost an immediate marriage, have proven entirely harmonious; but such spontaneous and rapid alliances are comparatively rare, and more rarely satisfactory.
As a rule, it is much wiser for young couples, even though they may feel irresistibly drawn toward each other, to meet many times under various circumstances before concluding that they are really so completely in love with each other as to marry.
Frequent meetings, with opportunities for a careful study of each other's tastes and peculiarities, the inevitable friction of mind with mind in repeated conversations, and such disclosures of principles, desires and habits as will inevitably result from repeated association and increased knowledge of each other's ambitions and deepest longings.
For myself, the occasional accidental or prearranged meetings with my partner and long time friend, when are deeply interested in each other and dreaming of love - the walks and rides taken together, the public gatherings attended in each other's company - all contribute not only to an increased knowledge of each other's character, but also tend to harmonize and blend our tastes, principles, purposes.
When things went wrong, I often asked myself, "What exactly happened when he strays? What exactly contributed to our conflicts when everything seemed to be going so well for us? What had I done to allow another person to come into our lives so easily and quickly??"
I've come to a conclusion.
And my discoveries could well give you some insights which you can adopt and adapt to your own relationship circumstances.
by Cucan Pemo
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