There is nothing worse than having a stupid nickname. Some people are giving the institution of romance a bad name. My G**! What in the world is happening with our African brothers? Men tend to think of women as psychotic sisters. I mean what do you guys expect with the ridiculous nicknames you give us.
Imagine this; you are out having a romantic dinner with your man. Everything looks perfect, from your hair style to the way you look in that red/black number you are wearing. Girl you look like a million dollars. Your man takes your hand and starts caressing it. You are thinking my, my, my; what have I done to deserve such a romantic man. If it was Christmas I would say I was probably the first one in Santa's list. The mood is so pleasant you can almost taste it.
He looks right into your eyes and says, ulikhaphetshu lam (you are my cabbage). You are not wearing green, and you are sure as hell not round as a cabbage. Things are definitely going to turn sour. Cabbages don't "age gracefully". They become yellowish in color and the smell is definitely not a pleasant one. Someone please help me understand! I mean how can one, for example, use a thoughtless and degrading name like Peanut, or even Pumpkin? I love pumpkin, but man, you call me that, you are dismissed. Period!
Other names that our brothers, think are okay (even the sisters), honey and sweetie Pie. Are you serious? People dig into the honey pot almost every day and minute. You should see the way they lick their hands afterwards. I'm telling you, these nicknames are patronizing and should be banned, forever!
Who wants to be called my Dululu, Lovey, sweetie or even worse, sweetheart? Prison guards use 'sweetheart' all the time when talking to prisoners. "Sweetheart this is not a hotel, it's a prison" or "Sweetheart the phone is not working". Can you imagine! What happened to nicknames like S'thandwa sam (my love)? That one is better; or call your loved one by their name. You will never go wrong.
Eish! Maar our African brothers from the north, Nigerians, yho, yho, yho! They are the worst when it comes to nicknames. The most popular one is Mommy. Boy do I look like your mother? That one will definitely give me a prison record. No doubt!
by Siyasanga Precious Hompashe
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