Most men, when trying to attract women, get caught in the dreaded friendship zone.
You met this cute girl at work or a party. She asks you if you want to hang out sometime. Great! You didn't even have to work up the courage to ask. You go out and hit it off well. Then she starts in about what a jerk her off again on again boyfriend is. He is constantly treating her bad and is down right rude.
You sit back and smile. You're not rude. She likes immediately. You know she'll soon realize you're the great guy she needs, and she'll want to date you instead. However, when the conversation ends she leans forward and tells you...
"Thanks for being such a great friend."
You have now entered the friendship zone. Once in the friendship zone, you are doomed. There's rarely ever an escape.
Doesn't that enrage you? It did me. It drove me nuts because it didn't make any sense at all. I used to say, "If women weren't so dumb..."
But it's not her fault. It's your fault, stud. It's not her fault that as a woman
she is hardwired with certain emotional triggers which cause attraction... and "wimpy nice guy" isn't one. No. Instead of blaming her you need to ask yourself:
"What can I do to make women feel a strong, undeniable attraction towards me?"
This little shift in attitude can make all the difference between loneliness and being a stud. Remember when I said being a "wimpy nice guy" isn't attractive to a woman
? I want you to think about it. If you were a woman... and you are physically weaker than a man... and in fact are taking a far greater risk when dating and doing things sexually...
What would you want? Would you want a wimp or someone who could protect you? A nice guy or a guy who would keep your out of harms way? Women don't make a lot of logical sense because they often make decisions based on emotion.
For example, if you go to a nightclub, you will find women dress sexy to attract men's attention. When you try to approach them though, they put up resistance. Likewise, women want someone who can treat them with respect, give them compliments and listen to them... but they also want a man who is powerful, confident and able to demonstrate control.
And if it comes down to the two... and she has to pick one...
She will pick power. That's why she keeps around a lot of male "nice guys" for friends, and dates the jerks. So she can have it both ways.
So where does that leave you? It's simple. You have to figure out how to demonstrate control, power and all that... while staying congruent to your personality. I'm not saying you can't treat a woman
with respect. But you must do it on your terms. Not hers.
And you must show confidence. That means you aren't afraid to joke, tease and even talk down to a "perfect ten" beautiful woman
. Or lead the relationship.
If you really want to change your dating results, stop asking why women don't like nice guys and start asking what you can do to communicate with women that you're confident, powerful and in control. And most important...
Someone they can feel safe around intimately.
by Kurt Dight
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