Can You Design Your Perfect Soul Mate? Yes! Here's How to Do It Right

Brandy Sharp, a Hollywood makeup artist, had experienced a very bad year romantically, she said. Everything had gone wrong. Her “good lover” had been only that, and the rest of him was a disaster. But then, she admitted, a good lover was only what she had been looking for.

 

So Brandy and her daughter went to the beach at Malibu on an overcast, coolish January 1st to contemplate their future, get out of the apartment, and basically just get away.

 

Not another Year of Misery

 

Brandy didn't want her four-year-old daughter exposed to another year of turmoil, nor did she want it for herself. She had had enough, and then some.

 

Can I Picture the Perfect Person?

 

So Brandy dug down into the sand and started daydreaming. "What would be the perfect man for me?" she asked herself, and started writing things down on the note pad she had brought with her.

 

"I was very specific, right down to body size and the darkish Mediterranean skin color that I like. I also wanted him to be at least 6 ft. tall. He needed to be a good lover, but that's not all. I’d made that mistake before."

 

"I wanted someone I could talk to and who would talk to me. I wanted conversation we could both enjoy. And he has to be spiritual. "

 

What Qualities Are Important to Me?

 

"A good sense of humor is also very important," she said. “And he needs to enjoy his work and make a good living.”

 

And most important, he has to love my daughter and the rest of my family. We are a big family and I want him to like them and them to like him. "

 

"Of course, he needs to be very attracted to me, and I need to be very attracted to him."

 

She began to enjoy making her list. She thought about all the things that made her feel good. She thought about the kind of food she likes, and places she likes to go. She added these to her list.

 

By the time it got too chilly at the beach, and her daughter was all sandy and hungry, she had most of her list of items ready.

 

Did She Find Her Soul Mate?

 

That was two years ago. She says she can't find the list today.

 

But six months after she made the list, she found the man.

 

Her list was engraved on her heart, so when a friend introduced them, out of the blue--she recognized him immediately. Without knowing it, she had activated the law of attraction. Now she understands. She knows exactly what she did.

 

I Actually Found the Perfect Man!

 

"I actually designed just exactly who I wanted--and I got him. He is exactly what I was looking for in every way. I wish I had known I could do it -- I would have done it sooner. We are so much in love with each other! We are so happy! I attracted the man of my dreams."

 

Can you design your own perfect soul mate? Yes. That person is already out there. It is your job to attract that person to you by being very specific about what you want. “When you focus on what you want, what you don't want falls away," says and Jack Canfield, author of Chicken Soup for the Soul and motivational speaker.

 

There are two important things to notice.

 

1. You must be very exact and specific.

2. What you think about, you will attract, and everything else will fall away.

 

Number One Thing to Do

 

So, do the first most important thing, and start your list today. You can use some of the guidelines Brandy used, and you can add your own.

 

- Height

- Weight

- Age

- Good lover

- Sense of humor

- Good conversationalist

- Good listener

- Spiritual

- Loves my daughter and my family

- Makes a good living

- Enjoys his work

- Very attracted to each other

 

Number Two Thing to Do

 

Now, do the other most important thing. Think only about the person you have described in your list. Let yourself enjoy thinking about your perfect soul mate. Do not spend time thinking about what you don't want. Erase from your mind all those bad experiences of the past. Rhonda Byrne, author and filmmaker, who successfully designs her own life, says that when you continue to think about what your do want, you attract that person to you. The ones who don’t qualify just vanish.

 

In Conclusion …

 

Can you design your own perfect soul mate? Yes, you can; and now you know how to do it.

 

That person is on their way to you even now. Be on the lookout!

 

by Kathy Abbott

Are You A Bad Date Magnet? Start Attracting Soulmates, and Avoid Bad Dates

Let's face it: you want to fall in love with someone who will love you back. You're tired of being alone every night – especially every weekend. You're sick and tired of magnetically attracting bad dates that seem to go on forever. You're ready to meet a soulmate for a long-term relationship, but instead you believe you can't attract the partner you deserve.

 

You keep meeting people who are all wrong for you, or you get dumped and dumped again. Feel like you're stuck in a rut, dating the same type of person over and over? Find yourself alone all the time? Feel scared and nervous before every date? The good news is, you don't have to spend any more time alone. And you can put an end to those miserable dates that lead nowhere. You'll begin enjoying fun dates with terrific people who have the potential to become your soulmate.

 

Here is a simple tip that will assist you before you get stuck for an easy way out. A first date should always be set up with an easy exit built in, and don't go out to dinner on a first date. Being trapped over a few courses can be painful. Just agree on a lunchtime date or after work coffee, or a drink. Just 1 drink is best. VERY IMPORTANT.

 

Let them know ahead of time that this date will have to be quick because you have to be somewhere else afterward; maybe someone's going away party, birthday, etc. You get the idea. If things go VERY well- you can extend the lunch or arrange an evening to dinner. And don't forget to cancel on your fake going away party or commitment with a discrete phone call! If the date is a downer- you look at your watch and simply say "Hey, it was nice to meet you! I have to go NOW” No buts or drawn out explanations, its imperative you leave.

 

You have already set up your quick exit as part of the coffee/drinks/whatever deal you made. Didn't you? Lunchtime meetings make it extra easy to leave, simply because you HAVE to get back to work! Bottom line, first dates should always be as short as you can make them, you don't want to generate interest that you can't or won't reciprocate. However, if that person is worth more time investment, that can be date two! • Dorothy Parker: Love is like quicksilver in the hand. Leave the fingers open and it stays. Clutch it, and it darts away.

 

by James V Palmer

Set It Free, or Not - The Wisdom of Trying to Win Back Your Lover

There's an old Chinese proverb that tries to poeticize the complete and utter agony of losing a lover: If you love something set it free. If it comes back to you, it's yours. If it doesn't, it never was. Come again? Whoever wrote this has obviously never spent the night alone with a box of tissues and a tub of bon bons watching The Way We Were for the ninetieth time.

 

"Breaking up is hard to do..." - another proverb, this one by Neil Sedaka, circa 1962 - doesn't begin to do this trauma justice. It's right there below death and taxes on list of things we all face, but that doesn't mitigate the lengths to which we will go to get past the pain. Once the tissues are gone and the bon bons have made you nauseous, there comes a moment when a radical and dangerous notion crosses our minds, and at first it seems so logical, so wondrous: why don't I just try to get him (or her) back?

 

Welcome to the most vicious of all cycles where love is concerned. It matters not who dumped who, or for what reasons. Logic has no bearing when it comes to considering desperate measures in desperate times. Because the key word here is desperate, and like Michael Jackson with his head on fire, the desperate do whatever it takes.

 

And that's the problem. Reconciliation might be the perfect quick fix, but in many cases it actually fixes nothing at all unless planned under the tutelage of Dr. Phil or at least your target's best friend. So heed the accumulated wisdom of centuries and stop right there.

 

Don't do it. At least not right away. The kindest, most loving thing you can do for yourself - and for your departed lover - is to allow time to do its work. Nothing about your emotions or your intellect, which have suddenly swapped places in the front seat of your existence, is operating on all cylinders. Reason, pride, patience, forgiveness... all are foreign concepts when your heart has been shredded and flushed.

 

In the midst of your long dark night one truth endures: whatever made your relationship implode is still there, and you risk much by crawling out from under the bus. Take care of yourself first, lean on friends, and spend the money to get counseling if you must, but approach our ex-love with great care. At least until the two of you bottom out on the issue of who should apologize to who, and the checklist of things that need to change has aged like a fine cabernet, only later to be allowed to breath before bringing it to your lips.

 

Remember, the saying says... it will come back to you... not; you'll crawl through cut glass for another shot. Trust that things will soon look and feel different and only then can you begin to pick up the pieces and begin to rebuild your life. Even if that means you intend to go back in, at least now you'll have a shot at it working.

 

by Mike J Edmonds

Alpha Males Can't Be Friends

In the dance between a man and a woman
, the average guy is unaware of the sequence of things to enable courtship. He will blindly stumble along, not spending enough time in one area, and therefore, could appear desperate, or he could spend too much time in another area, for example, just acting friendly, hanging out and buying dinners.

 

The Alpha Male instinctively knows the order of behaviors that must be, in order to achieve his goal, which is to be in her arms. Therefore, when the moment arises, and guys, never forget this, there is ALWAYS a moment between a man and a woman
were the guy can make the girl know subconsciously, “Ride or die, but now you know if you stick around here much longer, we are going to be sleeping together.”

 

If the relationship does not morph into ecstasy, then the Alpha Male will bail out and look for another conquest, with no apologies. He simply is not there to be her life long friend, her tissue paper.

 

The average guy, unaware of the dynamics that are in play, will NOT bail, but hope that his patience and suffering will be rewarded. And it might. But if so, it will set a dangerous precedent that says it is up to her to decide when he will be rewarded. Sadly, far too many relationships exist of this sort.

 

So what is the solution? If you have any ‘friends’ that you have always wanted, but haven’t made a move, be willing to make her the Sacrificial Lamb, to walk the plank. By this I mean that you MUST be willing to lose her friendship, in order to make it a new relationship, and most importantly, to take your psyche to a higher level.

 

Don’t think that just telling her how you feel will cause her to respond, because it won’t. No, what you should do is create a situation in which physical contact or closeness occurs. In the moment that it happens, you can let it linger, and then just kiss her! It’s that simple! Be playful about it though, no time to get all serious. If she says no, fine, I mean what’s the big deal, it’s just sex.

 

At least now you walk away with your manhood, knowing nothing ventured, nothing gained. And something funny happens. They usually call, but now you have a new relationship, one in which she knows that you are a man.

 

by Eleazar Heracleopolis

Golden Keys to Succeed With Women - Discover What They Want In Men

Almost all men want to succeed with women but not all of them have the right instructions or the techniques on how to succeed with women. Women can be hard and easy to tackle depending on the path you might take to impress them. It simply can’t be done overnight and does take a lot of hard work and dedication. But there are certain types of men women love and fall for instantly. Learn the golden keys to succeed with women and how it can benefit you.

 

Be an absolute killer - Women love guys who can dominate and are passionate about what they want in life being full of energy and enthusiasm. You need to have the right attitude and the drive and passion to succeed in life. You don't have to be successful but the mere drive and passion to succeed is good enough to impress any woman
. You don't have to be the master and perfect in everything you do but the drive and passion can take you a long way with women.

 

Be responsible - Women prefer men who are man enough to take good responsibility on their shoulders. Some men just chicken out of almost every situation and seek easy escapes. Women love men who take a stand and have a firm belief in themselves and their true abilities. Therefore learn to be responsible for what you do and take a firm stand.

 

No excuses - Women hate men who make excuses all the time and blame other people for their own mistakes. Learn to admit to your weaknesses and improvise on them. Don't make excuses for anything and everything.

 

Do not lie - Be honest and don't try to pretend or lie when you are not ok with a certain situation. Women are happier with a man who is rude but honest than the one who is nice but a cold liar.

 

Be adventurous - Women love men who are risk takers and who live in the present and not in the past or the future. Most men are too scared to take risks and miss out on the greatest opportunities in life. Learn to be a risk taker and live in the moment. Therefore in a nutshell if you follow the above steps you would find women lining up for you before you can even realize.

 

by Pushpa Pal Singh

Top 5 Pheromone Products to Attract Women

There are many pheromone colognes and oils being sold today on the Internet. Here are five most popular pheromone products:

 

Chikara Cologne

 

Originally named Chikara 7, after the number of pheromone compounds, this product contains the three pheromones found in most pheromone products: androstenol, androstenone and androsterone, as well as four new ingredients never before used in perfumery. The total guaranteed pheromone content per bottle is 10 mg. Chikara is great on its own, but it can also be combined with other products, especially those with more androstenone. This product is also available in gel packs.

 

New Pheromone Additive (NPA)

 

NPA is one of the most effective pheromone products on the market. It should to be added to favorite colognes or after shaves because it is very concentrated. NPA contains androstenone. It has an unpleasant pheromone smell. Recommended for more experienced users.

 

Liquid Trust

 

Liquid Trust contains oxytocin - hormone that controls the level of trust in people. Oxytocin makes people more willing to bond with others. Liquid Trust Body Spray is created to increase trust in the wearer. This product is applied every morning after showering along with a favorite cologne or perfume.

 

Primal Instinct

 

This is a very strong androstenone product. There is greater risk of overdose, so it is advised not to apply too much of this product. Very often, even one drop is too much for some men. There are two versions of this oil-based pheromone product - scented and unscented. Users should be aware that this product is not recommended for young men.

 

Scent of Eros

 

This product contains androstenol and androsterone. It is popular among younger people. Androstenol is a unisex pheromone that signals youth and it is useful for breaking the ice and getting conversations going. Androsterone is a masculine pheromone. Some people say that Scent of Eros can only get you friends, but this depends on your attitude and the way you use it.

 

by Pax Shumway

Common Dating and Relationship Mistakes Men Make

Unless you plan on dating women for the rest of your life, dating and relationships go hand in hand. I've seen men who can approach any woman
, build magnificent rapport, get her phone number, set up the first date, and then fail miserably at the relationship. In survey after survey, more than 90% of single men eventually want to have a long-term relationship with a mature, fun, and affectionate woman. There are many skills that you can develop when learning how to approach a woman and build up the attraction so she's really into you.

 

Guess what happens after a few months of dating? You both begin to notice more and more things about one another. You can have all the dating skills or game in the world, but if you fail to have a basic understanding on the dynamics of having a two-way relationship, then you're setting yourself up for failure. I've seen men who have dated hundreds of women over the course of their youth but cannot seem to maintain a healthy relationship. Remember, you cannot change another person, so the place to start is with yourself.

 

A very common mistake is acting needy. You can communicate neediness just by the way you stand, walk, talk or lack of talking. It's difficult to hide neediness. Some men are able to get a handle on it long enough to find a single woman
. But then the neediness resurfaces in the relationship because they never dealt with the real, core issues that were causing that neediness. Neediness comes in many forms. Some of it is learned behavior such as buying a woman you just met a drink. It communicates neediness but this is something men learn to do from their peers, the media, and their general upbringing.

 

Another common dating mistakes is not understanding how women become attracted to men. Women become attracted to men quite differently than men become attracted to women. Men are extremely visual and while women are visual to a certain extent, they care more about how a man makes them feel. If you can learn how to evoke these emotional triggers than your physical appearance isn't that big a deal. Some of the most successful pick up artists in the world are average to below average-looking men. Since some men don't understand how attraction works they do things like try to impress them or even worse, they try and use logic on her that he's that "nice guy". Logic never works when trying to pick up on a woman
.

 

Here's one that I see over and over again: spending way too much time with her. You do not want to crowd her and you should give her the space she needs. If she's the clingy type then you need to put your foot down. If you spend every day with someone you just started dating you're not giving yourself time to plan, develop, and grow your own life, which makes you a better partner. This carries into relationships where I see people spend every waking moment together. Not only is this not healthy, but you're not giving the other person the opportunity to miss you. Here's something else to think about. Men generally do not mature until they are in their late 20s or in their 30s. This is why I don't recommend any man getting married before the age of 30. Also any single man should date a variety of women so they can have a better understanding on what they really want. What I wanted at age 18 and age 25 were totally different. And now that I'm in my 30s it's evolved.

 

A major mistake men make is that they focus their energies on one woman
at a time. Young, single attractive women generally date more than one person. In fact, when I date someone I assume they're flirting, meeting, and possibly dating other men. It doesn't bother me because we're only dating. What happens when you court only one woman is that if it doesn't work out with her or she flakes out on a date, two things happen to you: one, you begin to develop tunnel vision where you begin to think and feel that this woman is the only woman for you at that point in your life. Two, you're out of a date for that night or weekend! This is why I'll get multiple phone numbers over the course of a week where ever I go, not just bars and clubs. In fact, I prefer meeting women in normal places such as markets, book stores, walking on the street, and I even picked up on a woman at a gas station. How hard is it to say "Hi" or "What's up?" or "Nice car."

 

There is no magic number on how many women you should date to find out what you really want. The important thing is that you go out and there and do it. Another common dating mistake is not knowing when to let go. I had a friend recently tell me that his girlfriend of 5 months demanded that they move in together or they were over. He was bewildered. I told him that if he gave into her selfish and immature ultimatum that she would own him body and soul and that I would lose respect in him as a man. I told him the best thing for him to do was to break up with her, go out and start dating other girls, and move on. "But it's so hard to do, I don't want to piss her off or hurt her."

 

I told him it wouldn't be easy, but really, it was the best thing for him to do and that he should be more concerned about himself instead of the selfish woman
he was with. He finally did it and just a month later he's the happiest he's ever been. Whether you are dating someone or in a relationship you have got to know when it's over. A sign of healthy self esteem is knowing what your boundaries are and not accepting unreasonable behavior from anyone. I see men allow women to get away with crazy things simply because the woman is gorgeous.

 

The most common dating mistake that men make is not doing anything at all. I have a friend of mine who plays hours of video games at night and on the weekends instead of meeting new people. Yet he complains that he does not have a girlfriend. This is also true in relationships, but in a different context. People get way too comfortable in their relationships. The thing is they need to work on it every single day. It could be something as simple as a kiss good night, saying "I love you" in the morning, or going away for a weekend to have some fun. By not doing anything the relationship will eventually die off. So take consistent action, no matter what phase you are in your life.

 

by Rod Cortez

How to Win an Ex Back - Should I Really Bother?

There is quite a burning question "How to win an ex back?" in your mind when you are the one dumped by your lover. Strange thing about losing something you really love is that whenever it happens seems the world has ended and there is no reason to live anymore. While the romance is ongoing you never even consider that something bad like a breakup can happen to you and quite often you don't even pay much attention to many small things that can possibly ruin any relationship.

 

One of such small things is getting too comfortable too early especially if you have just recently found your new love and think that feelings are mutual. At this point falling all over your lover and revealing yourself completely by saying "I love you" and similar things whenever you feel like it might be a total mistake because your loved is possibly not that much in love with you yet and might be not ready for getting into serious relationship too fast.

 

Thing about long lasting relationships is that slower they develop longer they will last. One of biggest mistakes many do with their love life is rushing things and getting too excited when something great happens. So if you have rushed into relationship too quickly and were dumped before even all the fun started then it's certainly not worth wandering how to win an ex back since you never actually had any serious relationship in the first place.

 

But if you were together for quite long time and things developed quite slowly then most probably reason for breakup is loosing interest or spice in your love life. Routine is your biggest enemy in such case and getting into it is quite easy as keeping it fun requires some creativity. Good news is that in this case you have more chances winning your ex back as you just need to figure out how to return the fun you had with your lover.

 

Try to remember what initially brought you both together when you had your first dates and what kept it going. For getting ex back you will need to repeat these situations and recreate feelings you both had during these encounters although it might be hard to even setup at first. So it's important to have your last meeting on a positive note and then give your lover some time to forget about any negative feelings that lead to this breakup. Pushing at this point would ruin any chances of getting back your ex.

 

Also try to figure out what common interests you have and especially pay attention to what different interests you had. Quite often routine in relationships comes in when you don't have common interests that would be fun for both of you. And if you have too few common interests working on learning how fun can be interests of your lover might be the turning point in your romance.

 

by Michelle Jordan

Love in the Workplace - To Have or Not To Have

Now, you know I care, so pretend this is your big sister talking to you. Love in the workplace? Why are you even asking me this question? You know better, getting involved with someone at work can be fraught with issues. Forget issues, how about major problems:

 

- Possible Human Resources concerns depending on your company

 

- Consider that you may be compromising your ethical/professional principles

 

- Colleagues may whisper behind your back

 

- If the apple of your eye is a subordinate, harassment charges could be filed if the relationship does not work out

 

- If the target of your affection is a superior, peers may say "Honey Bun" is playing favorites when assignments are given

 

- Can you really trust the individual not to spread your intimate business around the office, especially if you break-up?

 

- Speaking of breaking up, if this happens, you may have to see the individual every day or week things may get really tense in terms of working together

 

- You might sabotage your job and get fired

 

Are we clear now? No, you say this only makes your ardor stronger for Muffy? Well, okay fine, if you insist. Love in the workplace can be successful if you:

 

- Are very mature, and go in with no grandiose expectations. Proceed with caution

 

- Choose someone else who is very mature

 

- Keep the budding relationship a secret from co-workers - especially until you know where it is headed

 

- Do discreet research in Human Resources of the "fraternization" policies, just in case your fling comes to light

 

- Determine that your job performance will not suffer. As a matter of fact, step it up a notch!

 

- Try not to allow arguments to spill over to the workplace

 

Enjoy the rare treat of cupid success, and if the relationship goes long-term, write an article about how to do it. Remember, love is like war; very easy to start and difficult to end!

 

by Dee Jaye Clark

How To Talk To Girls, Give Me The Lines!

When it comes to the topic of "How to talk to girls" the most common questions I encounter are:

 

* "What do I say to girls"... and

* "What is the best thing to say?"

 

The main issue I have with this types of questions is that it usually would not change anything for the person asking them, because:

 

1) As common dating coach cliché will tell you: "It doesn't matter what you say verbally". If you are seen as "attractive", anything will have been the right thing to say and she will comment to her friends how charmed she was by what you said. If you are seen as "unattractive", anything will have been the wrong thing to say, and she will comment to her friends about how "cheesy" or "creepy" what you had said is. Ironically enough, the main factor for being seen as unattractive is being contrived. Being contrived will make women feel queasy and "objectified". The best thing to say is whatever comes up naturally, in the moment. Ideally, you want to just walk up to the woman, and let your mouth start moving by itself, saying whatever the moment produces.

 

2) "What is the best thing to say?" is in the mindset of "what is the one thing I can impress a girl most with". And this is the mindset that is most likely to kill off any attraction she might have felt for you in the first place. Do you know what women mean by the all-famous "just be yourself"? Let me translate their "women speak" into earth-language. It means "don't be a try hard who's concentrating on how to impress me by putting on a persona, just be yourself, pay attention to me and actually listen to me, let your natural personality shine-through, and if something happens for us, it happens Let things happen and unfold naturally". Women absolutely despise (to the core of their being, they actually feel a little violated and a little sick), when they can feel that the man interacting with them is "doing something" i.e. he has an agenda, and an outcome in mind (he's objectifying her). So the best place to go out is the one that naturally arises out of the situation (common interests, things she liked about you, things you discussed).

 

With this in mind, is there no value to these questions at all? Actually, these are great questions, but I just wanted to set you up in the proper mindset before I answered them.

 

It is VERY valuable to know exactly "what to say" to a woman. And the reason is not what you think. The reason that guys ask "how do I start the conversation, give me the words", or "how do I ask for the date", is simply because they don't feel comfortable in doing so. They are not the kind of a person who can just "naturally" walk up to any woman and have a charming, fun interaction flow out of him in and effortless manner And don't worry; about 90% of the male population is unable to do this "natural" thing as well.

 

"So that's all good and well man but what if I am not one of these guys who just walks up to the woman and finds himself naturally saying the right things, in the moment?". That's where the usefulness of the first question comes in. The way to become that person FAST ironically enough is to not care about what happens. In order for your mouth to move and say the right things in a charming, smooth, seductive way you need to GENUINELY not care what happens. Being totally comfortable with whatever unfolds. That is the secret the more comfortable and natural you feel about walking up and talking to a woman, the more your mouth will start saying the right things without even thinking and the more charming and attractive the woman will find you.

 

So what is the fastest way to get comfortable and natural with starting conversations and asking women out? The fastest way possible is to get ready-made "conversation-starters" and "ways of asking her out" (there's a ton of these "techniques" in the so called "dating coach" and "pickup community" industry, just do a search). Most of these techniques and methods are based on imitating what a "natural" who's "being himself" would say or do.

 

Using these will always be on the "objectification" side and will always be a lot less "effective" than "being yourself", so accept the fact that there is a much smaller chance something will unfold with the women you "use" these "tools" and "techniques" on, than had you just went in and let things happen naturally But since you're not a "natural", this is the only way of becoming one.

 

Don't get me wrong, you will end up "hooking up" or "dating" some of these women, simply by virtue of them having liked you anyway.

 

Just make sure to not use the techniques as a way to get her to "go on a date", "like me" or "sleep with me". Use these techniques and lines as a way to practice your social skills. Have the attitude of "I am simply practicing engaging people into fun conversations and asking women out if something comes out of it, that's cool, but if all I get is a little more social skill, I am just as happy" Have absolutely ZERO expectation and agenda with the women you're speaking to (objectification). Do this enough many times, and pretty soon, in no time at all you will magically "find yourself" engaging women and saying all the right things, spontaneously and "in the moment". You will be a natural too.

 

by Aleksandar Novkovski

Why Are Women Attracted To Masculine Men?

Back in caveman days, when a man wanted a woman
, he would hit her over the head with his club and drag her back to his cave. If only things were that simple today. Actually I'm glad things aren't still like that for obvious reasons, but I do wish it was all that easy.

 

Over the past 100 years or so, men and women have been going through tremendous change. Women are now considered equal to men (a very positive development) and contraceptives are widely used. We are in complete control of our sexuality like no other time in history. However, with all the good that has come about, there is still something missing. Something we can all feel in our hearts but cannot fully understand.

 

We are missing our sense of masculinity. Slowly, men have been becoming more and more feminine while women have been becoming more and more masculine. Men are becoming more like women while women are becoming more like men. This has all resulted in a dramatic loss of attraction for both sexes.

 

You see, women are biologically driven to want to mate with the "alpha male". The man who is a leader, who is decisive, who is in control of his emotions, who is secure in himself. While a man's looks factor into a woman's attraction for him, his behavior is far more important. Men are primarily attracted to a woman's physical appearance while a woman
is primarily attracted to a man's behavior. Remember that the next time to tell yourself you can't get a girl because of your looks; it's actually because of the way in which you behave.

 

This is all pretty good news for us guys though. While physical appearance cannot be changed, our behavior can. Ugly women are basically screwed while ugly men can still very easily attract beautiful women.

 

So what are the characteristics of an attractive man?

 

Assertive He knows what his likes and dislikes are and he's not afraid to voice his opinion. If he's shopping with his girlfriend and she happens to not like the shirt he picked out, he's not going to put it back like a little puppy dog. If he likes it, he's still going to buy it.

 

Decisive He can make snap decisions. If his girlfriend asks what they are doing, he knows and has a plan in mind.

 

Leader He leads women in everything they do together. He leads during sex, while on a date and any other time they are together. He is the big strong man she turns to.

 

by Matt Huston

The Introvert's Guide to Success at Bars and Clubs

When it comes to dating advice for guys, how many times have we heard about the importance of being the "alpha" man in a room full of people? After all, women are magically drawn to confidence and leadership, aren't they? And a charismatic personality is generally understood to kick the attraction potential into hyperdrive. Right?

 

So we as men are bombarded with continuous tips and tricks on how to stand out. Attraction appears to be predicated upon learning to "banter" and be a "storyteller". There are even books devoted to how to make women laugh. And if you have the personality to carry all of this, there's no question it's powerful stuff.

 

But there's a problem. Not everyone has the same personality type, do they? As long as there yet exists a "strong silent type" persona that carries archetypal mystique in the imaginations of certain women, the reality shall remain that there just isn't a blanket solution when it comes to identifying one single and all-conquering "type" that is sure to attract "all women". To illustrate this further, consider how "cocky/funny" is powerfully effective stuffbut only with women who find it, well, powerfully effective. Some very attractive women just don't resonate with it for whatever reason. That's life.

 

But wait a minute. How then is the "Strong Silent Guy" supposed to "stand out" in the loud, flamboyant world of "night time game"-- where "larger than life" rules--if he isn't up to the "peacocking" challenge? The truth is a guy with an introverted personality may have incredible potential for igniting attraction in certain women. But how can he effectively convey that in a bar full of people?

 

That's a good question, and I've been asked it more than once within the past couple of weeks.

 

In offering a potential answer to it, let's focus on a key scenario in a bar/club setting. Almost always, night time pick-up strategy begins with "opening a set". This means having the flat-out confidence and energy to be a part of a larger group of people and TAKE CHARGE of it. The guy who controls the mood and the flow of a group of people (be they all women or mixed company) is the guy who is best positioned for creating attraction among the women of that group. This makes sense. Once you've mastered "working the crowd", as the best stand-up comedians are known for, you can often find yourself in the envious position of taking your pick as to which woman
you'd like to "single out" for a more private conversation.

 

Common wisdom says this requires a gregarious personality of the most outgoing sort.

 

Not so fast.

 

The most powerful boardroom chairmen--and indeed the most effective U.S. Presidents--tend to have something in common when it comes to group dynamics. And I believe that they have a valuable secret that introverted guys can learn from when it comes to winning over a room full of people.

 

Their secret is this: they are fantastic listeners. What's more, they are equally adept at INVOLVING OTHERS and evaluating opinions.

 

John F. Kennedy in particular was known for being able to hold a group of high level dignitaries and/or cabinet members at absolute rapt attention. Bear in mind these groups were typically composed of men with immense egos. Yet, JFK actually said relatively little. Instead, he urged involvement from particular individuals at the table with him and paid full attention to their input. When any one person had completed his thought, he would quickly hand off the subject to someone else. Often he would enact the transition by simply asking another person to "continue the thought" or "offer his or her opinion".

 

Invariably, the culmination of all this was a great desire on the part of those at the table to finally hear Kennedy's word on the matter. Not once having elbowed his way into the conversation to exert his views, by the time he spoke all eyes were trained upon his and all ears were hanging on his every word.

 

A man of great character may be confident, masculine and very much a leader. But he may not be "the life of the party". The untold truth, however, is that he can indeed emerge as the most overwhelmingly attractive man in the group at a bar or clubif he can do what JFK could.

 

Lead. Listen. Care. Earn respect and in the process you will have the full attention of some high-quality women.

 

Will this work always? Will it be effective everywhere? Nothing isnot even the more mainstream "game" tactics, right? But if you are an introverted man, what we've discussed here today is one serious and more "natural" alternative to a persona that doesn't fit.

 

By the way, whatever your personality type, try JFK's attitude on for size at work sometime. Watch your career gain forward mobility as a result.

 

by Scot McKay

Dating Rules for Women - Crucial Tips for a Memorable Dating Experience

Why stay at home on a Saturday night when you can be enjoying the company of that special someone? Don't let your lack of experience stop you. There are dating rules for women to help enlighten you on the finer points and intricacies of going out. Let these dating rules for women guide you and you'll be making the rounds like any veteran of the dating scene in no time.

 

Clean up and dress up. It's a common misconception that just because you're female, your system's already preprogrammed to do this. That's just not the case most of the time, and that is why girl friends were put on earth. Enlist their help, ask for advice, consult fashion magazines if you must, or go to the salon together. Not only will you be getting a much-needed makeover, but it's great bonding time, too.

 

Keep your mysterious side - this is always attractive to men. You do not have to tell him everything about you. Try to remain a little enigmatic so that he will be intrigued about you.

 

In dating, giving less always leads to the other person asking for more. Keep dates short and brief so he will become more interested in you. Long dates can be a strain on both of you; in fact, some of those dates just end up as failures.

 

Stay in shape and you will find men asking for your number anywhere you go. Even if you hate going to the gym or dieting, remember that a man judges a woman
by her physical features.

 

Letting your man pay at your dates gives them a chance to be proud of themselves. If your man is interested enough in you, he will be happy to make sure that you ate well and had a great time.

 

Say "thank you" if you receive flowers from your date. A man who remembers to do that is showing his sensitive side.

 

Making a guy wait is also natural for a lady. If a guy keeps up with your late arrivals, it means he is willing to wait for you. His patience should be commended. But try not to do it too often or he will be irritated and may never call again.

 

Making yourself unavailable sometimes can be a positive. Be available on Thursdays when he wants to date on Tuesdays. If he calls you, do not be too anxious to answer. Let him leave a message or two before replying to his calls. If he accommodates your schedule (instead of you running after his) it shows that he is a gentleman. Do not seem to be too desperate; if he sees you to be a clingy person, he may be turned off.

 

Never take your man with you on a night out with your girlfriends. Keep this time sacred. This is the time for you and your girls to bond. A man at the scene is not appropriate.

 

One of the most important dating rules for women is to never talk about your past boyfriends especially if you and your date are already getting along well. Talking about past relationships may hurt the feelings of your date, especially if he is sensitive.

 

If a man shows signs of being obsessive, insecurity and possessiveness, dump him. There are many men out there (even if this one seems to be Mr. Perfect). You cannot live life in a box.

 

Never criticize his mother. This is the biggest mistake you can make.

 

Once you master these dating rules for women, the only thing you'll have to worry about on a Saturday night is who'll feed your fish while you're gone.

 

by Michael Lee