It had been seventeen years since I was in a loving, committed relationship. I was happy single and strangely I had an inner desire to be coupled. And it wasn't those occasional fleeting thoughts of "wouldn't it be nice if..." it was an inner longing and yearning I had not before experienced. I started seeing the world from the place of partnership. I began feeling as though my beloved was present, but on vacation. I wanted to talk with him. It was a welcomed and unknown experience. Curious about this new phenomena I decided to follow it instead of squelching it.
I contacted a friend of mine, Colleen Brady, who had created a program for people "looking for their beloved" at the time it was called And Find True Love, since changed to Total True Love System. She had been with her honey for six years, now nine years, from a process she had put together using principles from the Law of Attraction and a little, almost irritating, ditty of a song that she played daily. Turns out this song was created by a gentleman to find his wife. It is filled with metaphors and evoked strong emotions regarding the relationship he desired. The intention behind the song was powerful. The artist did attract his wife. Colleen had listened to this song to find her partner, now, I found myself contacting Colleen for assistance in preparing for my honey. She gave me a copy of the song. Every day I played it in my car as I drove around the country on business.
I started noticing how as I stepped into the space of "he is here" that I began changing. It is like creating a vacation through building it bit by bit. Opening a bank account for a the desired trip and little by little completing the preparation through research, planning, buying a map, a bathing suit, ticket and so forth. I was taking similar action in preparation for my new relationship bit by bit. I listened to the song and got the energy all over me. I would then ponder about the relationship I desired. How would we be separate? How would we be together? What would be important to us? Who would be our friends and how would we spend our weekends? The process was powerfully exciting and it felt so different than "making a list".
I returned home from traveling for a one week lay over. While home my friend invited me on a networking cruise with people I used to know quite well and network with regularly. I was standing on the top deck of the cruise ship admiring the beauty of the sunset and I looked over at a man who I had known professionally for years. I said to him "my favorite date is watching the sunset while drinking champagne". His response, "mine too." I remember thinking; it can't be this easy can it? I have done so much struggling around dating, relationships, hooking up, and all it took was leaning into a song, becoming clear about the feeling of me, my true self, and the feeling of us. Then all I do is open my mouth, speak a truth about myself and there he is? We've been together for three years.
The most enjoyable part of our relationship is we continue to define and re-define "us." We realize that we are both brilliant business people who have created work to look like us, and we can equally create relationship to look like us. We have been conscious about creating our relationship together instead of adopting ideas that we learned from our parents and society. Although it has been designed quite conventional, we have questions assumptions and been conscious about the process. I have found my honey.
I've learned that clarity about self and desire were keys for finding my mate. I also realized that the emotional countenance of living in the space of having it already here and then working backward - a business practice used by the best of our business men and women - was necessary. And then taking the steps, or building the infrastructure to receive the love once is showed up. These insights have been used by both of us to go deeper into our relationship.
by Bonnie Barnard
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