How To Call A Woman And Set Up A Date?

So you've just met a gorgeous woman
and were able to get her email or phone number. You congratulate yourself momentarily, then the dread sets in...

 

How long should you wait before you contact her? And when should you take her out for a date?

 

There is a lot of controversy between "dating experts" on this subject. Conventional wisdom says you should wait a few days. Any sooner and she'll think you're desperate and her attraction radar will go down. We don't want that.

 

I can't speak for those experts. I can only speak from my experience. When I first was bitten with the dating bug, I read everything I could get my hands on. I even planned a vacation for Washington D.C. so I could stop in and check out the library of congress.

 

Since it was based on "research" that you should wait a few days before calling a woman
, I thought... who was I to argue with the "facts"?

 

Don't get me wrong this didn't get me bad results. However, I quickly started to find that a lot of other things I read from the "experts" didn't actually work in the dating field. Interesting. So what would happen if I experimented with the contact rule?

 

Here's what I did. Call or email the next day. Sometimes on the same day. In marketing, there is something called top of the mind awareness. The more your product is on the top of the mind of the consumer, the better your chance of a sale. I don't know if it's true in dating... but I found I got "top of the mind" placement by emailing or calling within 24 hours.

 

Onward

 

So you contact her. Now what do you do for the date? You know, different things work for different personality types. But there is one thing I have found that is universally a buzz kill. Traditional stuff. You can't bore a woman
into being attracted to you.

 

And know this: you can't bribe a woman into wanting you. Forget the fancy meals and drinks.

 

My students have found the most success by not even thinking in terms of "a date". The term dating has a certain connotation to it, doesn't it? Women, when they hear dating, place certain social expectations on it. More barriers for you to overcome. Not good.

 

I will give you one technique I use. It might not be perfect for you, but it as at least a good starting point to get the concept of "dating" out of your mind, and think more in terms of how to get women to feel attracted toward you. You don't need dating to do this.

 

Here's a typical scenario. When I call, I set up a meeting place for some tea. How soon? Here's how you do it: "Let's see, I have something going on Monday and Tuesday, and I have meeting this weekend, so how about Thursday?"

 

The actual number of days out you set up the date doesn't matter. What matters is that you frame it in a context of "fitting her in" between two things you are busy with. It shows you have things going on in your life, but you also willing to find time for her.

 

Also, I like to sell the idea that I'm interesting enough to be around without using a formal date crutch. This is crucial. I usually do this by saying, "We can go out for tea and have some stimulating conversation." Anything along those lines works well.

 

Now the hook is in place. But we aren't out of the woods yet. Let's take it a step further. I add on to the end, "If anything, sounds like I'll make a good friend."

 

You have now removed the dating implications completely. Also, you have subtly communicated that you will be qualifying her as much as she is qualifying you. Believe it or not, this heightens her attraction for you. Why? Well, most guys only have one qualifier to feel attraction for women. I'm sure you know what it is.

 

So, there you go. A simple strategy to follow for knowing when to call a woman
and how long before you take her out on a date. I'm sure there are as many ways to do this as the day is long, but based on my personal experience I have found this the easiest plan to follow.

 

by Kurt Dight